Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Do They Hate Your Mate by Peter Bruce Photo

So you've met The One you both laugh at the same jokes, you like the same books, and you don't wrangle over the remote control. But what if your parents don't feel the same warm and fuzzy affection for your sweetheart? My advice? Don't get defensive,try these 6 ideas to bring the most important people in your life together before the wedding...

Get the Facts right

Ask your family members why they disapprove. Open discussion can defuse a volatile situation, and their reasoning may surprise you. Perhaps they misunderstood something your future husband said, or perhaps they've misinterpreted your soon-to-be wife's shyness. Let them know how much you love your mate and they may try harder to accept him or her into the extended family.

Alter Your Angle or point of view

Remember that your family wants the best for you and be open to the fact that people in love (and lust!) sometimes choose to ignore their partner's faults. Have an open mind and be certain your feelings ring true.

Shower Them With lots of love

Show your family that you care about them. They may worry that you're leaving them behind and may feel jealous of your spouse. After all, your married status may mean you won't make every Christmas gathering. They'll see less of you and you'll have new priorities. Make sure your parents and siblings still feel cherished and irreplaceable in your life, and they may learn to love your spouse.

Roll With the Punches

Don't take everything your relatives say at face value. Don't harp on insults made in the heat of the moment. Wait until family members chill out before asking about stressful moments. They may realize their words were hurtful and think before they speak next time.

Act Fast don't wait

Don't wait too long to address the issue at hand . If it takes years to broach the topic with your parents, it may be too late. Once a behavior pattern or opinion has been established, it can be difficult to change. Speak up when issues arise or your resentment (and your spouse's) may build to such levels that the familial relationship will never be mended.

Stand By Your Partner

Whatever happens, stay committed to your spouse. Ultimately it's the two of you who will spend your lives together. Present a united (yet friendly) front, and you'll find the road a lot less bumpy.

Good luck out there and let me know if it helps

Peter Bruce Photo

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